No Such Thing As a Free Lunch
Got a call from one of those “you’ve won a gazillion dollars in a lucky draw you’ve never heard of !!!eleventyone!!” timeshare scammers the other day.
Timeshare Scammer: Hello, We’re calling from Timeshare Scammers Limited* and wish to inform you that you’ve been selected to receive a free gift worth $4,000.
Me: Ok.
TS: The gift includes a 8-day Thailand hotel stay, spa vouchers blahblahblah.
Me: Ok.
TS: We’re a newly set up company blahblah promote our new packages blahblah NATAS blahblahblah.
Me: Ok.
TS: Just to reassure you, we’re not one of those timeshare companies. This gift is offered to you with no strings attached.
Me: Ok.
TS: You’ll not need to purchase anything before receiving the gift.
Me: Ok
TS: At the same time, we’ll like to do a presentation with you to promote our new packages. The presentation will take about an hour. Will you be available at 2pm tomorrow?
Me: Ok.
TS: Our office is located at blahblahblah. By the way, I’m Angeline**. Please ask for me at the reception blahblahblah.
Me: Ok.
TS: We’ve reserved the gift for you so please ensure that you turn up tomorrow or we’ll have to do some explaining to our sponsors.
Me: Ok.
TS: In case you get lost or you’ve further enquiries, our hotline number is 6xxxxxxx.
Me: Ok.
TS: Now I’ll need to pass the phone over to my supervisor so that he knows I’m doing my job.
Me: Ok.
Timeshare Scammer’s Supervisor: Hi, I’m Angeline’s supervisor, Michael**. Has she explained everything to you?
Me: Ok.
TSS: So you’ll be here at 2pm tomorrow to collect your gift?
Me: Ok.
TSS: As it’s Angeline’s off day tomorrow, she’ll be coming back specially to conduct the presentation for you. Please make sure you come.
Me: Ok.
TSS: *Repeats address and hotline number*
Me: Ok.
TSS: Can we have your name so we can reserve the gift for you?
Me: No speak English.
TSS: …
Me: *Hangs up*
*Name changed because I can’t remember jack shit.
**Names may have been changed by the guilty to protect their sorry asses.
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Lis! You’re alive! I’ll have to put you back on my blogroll – I figured you for dead! (there were tears shed and an e-funeral and everything)
Damn. I missed my own e-funeral?
haha, it’s always fun to mess around with those people :)
It is, isn’t it? I can’t wait for my next victim. *rubs hands in glee*
that was so funny!
Glad you liked it! :)