Why It’s Tough Being a Superhero
I was taking a crap and pondering the meaning of life on my porcelain throne when it occurred to me that it would be pretty cool if I had superhero powers. This train of thought can probably be attributed to the recently concluded season 1 of Heroes (yatta!) and Spiderman 3. Ok, maybe not Spiderman 3 since I didn’t catch that as the first two movies of insane female screaming have scarred me for life. Sometimes, I still catch myself yelling “shut the fuck up, MJ!” in my sleep. Anyway, back to superheroes. I was thinking it probably isn’t easy being one and here’s why:
1) The skin tight costume? Dude, where do you keep your keys?
2) Need to pee really badly? Like really, really badly.. NOW? Not a good thing.
3) Underwear on the outside? Tacky.
4) High laundry bills. Nobody likes a stinky superhero.
5) The skin tight synthetic fabric can’t be healthy for the private bits. Nasty yeasties, anyone?
I just realised that was all about the costume so the obvious solution would be to change it to something a little more, uhm, breathable? But who the hell wants to see a superhero in a cotton sack? So not sexy.
So, if you could be a superhero for a day, with or without the sexy costume, what power(s) would you like to have?
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I’d love to have telekinesis. I’d cheat at Roulette.
Super-sarcasm. My comments on peoples’ blogs would make them cry.
Totally agree!! Spidey should just say “to hell with MJ” and let her scream away. All she ever does is get into trouble!!! Batman is the coolest hero. And he has his man friday to do the laundry, the batmobile to keep his keys, but the peeing bit…hmmm…