Where Have All the Good Men Gone?
Meleah’s post about dating has made me take a look at my own manhunt situation. It’s mostly of the non-existent variety. I’m way past the sweet-young-thing stage so maybe I should speed up a little and start looking for real before I reach the left-on-the-shelf stage. Many folks have suggested these places as good ones to meet guys. Hmm, let’s see, shall we?
Bookstores
This is a good one. I’m quite sure I won’t meet morons like Office Creep here. At the very least, the guys who step into this place know their ABCs. Besides, I can zoom in on the ones who share the same literary interests as me. Let me take a look in the Crime section. Ooh look, there’s a pretty cute guy standing there. What’s he reading? Ted Bundy’s biography? Interesting. Serial killers is a pretty fascinating subject. Perhaps I should strike up a conversation with him. Wait a minite, he looks really engrossed in the book. Why is he so engrossed in the book? OMG is he a Ted Bundy wannabe? Is he looking for tips and techniques to use on his next victim? I’m outta here!
Cafes
Nice and casual with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee in the air. Smells like romance. Except I don’t really like coffee and the smell gives me a headache and can be a trigger for my migraines and then I’ll turn into that bitch from hell. That aside, I supposed I can live with dating a guy who drinks nothing but coffee. Well, as long as he drinks it from an airtight container in a locked room while I’m in a Hazmat suit. But do I really want to date a guy with a serious caffeine addiction? Could that also be indicative of other addictions? Alcohol? Gambling? Drug? Or worse, he could be addicted to collecting Barbie dolls. Creepy.
Churches
See, I’m not sure how I feel about my guy being more in love with some random hairy dude who lives in the sky and turns water into wine.
Maybe I can try those personal ads stuff. Mine will probably read like this:
Stick thin Chinese female in her 20s seeking male companion. Said male should have the looks and body of Christian Bale, wit of Stephen Colbert, culinary skills of Anthony Bourdain and come with own set of utensils. He must be willing to sit still for long periods of time for yarn winding purposes, concede FULL control of TV remote to the female and laugh at all her jokes even if they’re not terribly funny most of the time. Most importantly, he should never attempt to compete for shoe closet space with the female. Fans of reality TV shows and crappy sitcoms like According to Jim need not apply.
So what will your personal ad read like?
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Anthony Bourdain over Alton Brown, huh? That’s a great want ad.
While these are all excellent suggestions, I must warn you:
Bookstores: frequented by guys who are trying to look more studious so they can pick up women.
Cafes: frequented by guys who are trying to look more suave and contemporary so they can pick up women.
Churches: frequented by guys who are trying to look more pious so they can pick up women.
Your best bet might be the personal ad approach.
Michael, unfortunately I’ve only seen Bourdain on TV so I can’t really say for sure if it’s definitely a case of him over Brown.
Wolf, if that’s really the case, that’ll leave me with the losers who don’t even bother to try!
I love your profile. ha ha ha…..
Yep. I am in the process of making one. I am going to suck it up and “date” online as NO ONE ever approaches me in the bookstore.
Lis, that ad just might work, seriously, it just might, if you posted in on Mars or something … LOL! Where in heavens name are you gonna find a guy with those qualities? You might as well try turning water in wine, that would be so much more possible … :D
That might work Lis.
Hee hee.
My mate met a realy nice bloke on match.com so they’re not all scary serial killer office creep-a-likes.
Good Luck.
Is one that says nothing but ‘looking for the female version of me’ going to work ok????
Mel, while most women love to date intelligent men, most men are probably intimidated by smart women.
Nick, wait, there’re Martians with those qualities? Maybe I should get on the next shuttle to Mars…
Jo, that gives me hope. Now I’m tempted to really post this personal ad somewhere and see what kind of response I get. Hee.
Michael, don’t you think an ad that says “I’ll like to date me but with female body parts” is a tad creepy? Besides you’ll both be fighting over that last lobster. Heh. You should try and let me know how it goes!
Mine will read:
Brad Pitt! WTF! Why are you still with AJ? Yeah, I know I’m married but just say the word and the husband will be sent back to his momma!
Of course that is very specific as to who I’m looking for… intersting. What would Freud say?
Psst. I think AJ’s hotter than BP. If I were inclined that way, I’ll totally steal her from him so you can have your way with him. Although I’m sure she has more shoes than me. That could prove to be a problem.
Damn. What if I’ve got the looks of Stephen Colbert, the culinary skills of Christian Bale and the wit of Anthony Bourdain? Would that work?
And yeah, bookstores are a great place to look, as would libraries I assume (although does that mean your guy is too cheap to actually buy a book?). Try any local parks too to see if your guy’s one with nature and likes to exercise, etc.
Okay, what if my profile said:
A 30 something, LOUD, female, Italian Jew, single mother, with a leaky ass, seeking a rapidly aging male with no sex drive and lots of cash.
Andrew, I’m absolutely ok with the looks of Colbert and wit of Bourdain. I’m not so sure about Bale’s culinary skills though.
Mel, you never know, that might work! If you find one, ask him if he has an older single brother. Heh.
The good men gave up and left town. They kept saying, where have all the good women gone? Then they realized they were sitting around watching Oprah all day and figured that was a bad omen. To much vanity for the average male I guess. Your left to contend with the suckers. You can find them at places like bookstores and cafes.
Or, the personal adds. Which.., are fun to read but that’s about it.
Here was another one I found that I really liked. Cheers everyone, it was nice stopping by your blog, take care all.
From what I remember from years gone by, they went extinct. They died off after no one would date them, and the ones remaining married over domineering women, who divorced them, took their money, and turned them into angry wounded animals. Once the hip-hop culture came in, they truly dissapeared. Woman only dated druggies, and ex-cons. Some women resorted to writing guys in jail to ensure the reproduction of bad boys once they were released. Single parent homes…oh who are we kiding…kids raised by their mother, with no father present, grow up with no good male role model to follow. The good, honest, and strong cowboy, is no longer available, unless he is a christain fanatic, which takes him out of the cowboy file. He was killed by video games, drugs, MTV, gangster culture, and the girls your age who want a “bad boy” to anger their parents, or parent. Forbidin fruit. If you find one, treat him with care, he is the last of his species.