Childcare for Dummies
Before I start on the post proper, I want to wish all of you who’re celebrating Chinese New Year a very happy and prosperous Chinese New Year. For those of you who aren’t, well, Chinese New Year is really just an excuse for all the Chinese to come together and stuff their faces silly instead of sitting alone at home sad and nekkid and stuffing their faces silly.
Also, I want to tell you all how much I love all of you. This is just in case I inadvertently gamble this blog away while inebriated during Chinese New Year.
Yeah yeah, I can hear you at the back there telling me to stop the jibber-jabbering and go on to the post proper. All right, but no soup for you!
I came across these childcare instructions for dummies via The Selfish Bastard and thought I’d share. There’re a lot of pictures so I’m putting the rest of this post behind a cut. You might want to get some tissues ready because they are that funny. Also, someone should send a copy of this to Britney Spears. She looks like she needs it.
I contemplated coming up with captions but there’re 27 pictures! I would be late for my reunion dinner. You’re free to come up with your very own funny captions in the comments. Enjoy!
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haha some great ones there.
‘fun games’ cracked me up in the middle of the office !
slashninja’s last blog post..an epic traffic deadlock
Haha I know! I’m totally going to play chess with the next baby I meet.
We love you too :)
Now I just need to get me a baby…
Jason - GorillaSushi’s last blog post..Snowing Is Half The Battle
Mmm babysushi…
I am CRYING. Too FUNNY. Aaaaaaahhhhhhaaaaaaaaaha ha ha….
These are CLASSIC.
(I am emailing everyone I know the link to this page.)
meleah rebeccah’s last blog post..Not Myself
Yeah, I laughed till I cried too when I saw these. Too damn hilarious!
[...] are interested in LAUGHING, may I suggest clicking HERE. (Trust me. Its worth [...]
waking baby & calming baby are CRAZY funny. Thank you.
meleah rebeccah’s last blog post..Not Myself
oh my god, this is just hilarious. thanks to you and thanks to meleah, who made me come here.
how to read this post :
picture of me sitting at my desk peeing my pants = wrong
picture of me on the toilet to avoid peeing my pants = right
holly’s last blog post..retaining good moral
HAHA yes Holly, now we just need someone to illustrate that!
Hah! I just stumbled upon those yesterday too. I so have to pick up that book. The kid in the aquarium is my favorite so far.
Oh, and since I haven’t pissed you off in a while, consider yourself officially tagged, Lis.
Andrew’s last blog post..7 Weird Facts About Andrew of MyBlogRules
They’re from a book? There’re more of these? I better get to doing some googling.
Love these. As a parent, I don’t know that I’ve thought of half the “bad” methods yet, but I’ll look closer for ideas. :)
That makes you a good parent. That’s a good thing!
I always see people around me done Playing with Baby, Stimulating Baby and Making Baby Smile the No, Bad and Don’t method. No big deal as long as the baby is still alive
bluecrystaldude’s last blog post..23 perkara jangan dilakukan ketika memandu balik berhari raya!
Playing with Baby the bad way looks dangerous. What if you drop the baby?
Never happen, yet. But that is the one thing I remember kinda afraid when I was a kid. My uncle always done that stunt. Not to mention, you could see the fan just within your reach. I guess he tries to make me a pilot somehow. But the effect seems like I am afraid of height. *sigh*
bluecrystaldude’s last blog post..Malam Pertama
You must have been stumbling parallel to me! I stumbled across this as well.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Getting Lemons, Selling Lemonade
Yeah!
OMG, these pictures are hilarious. Nice find!
Linda’s last blog post..Kate Moss Plans to Release another Perfume
Glad you like them. :)
I sent this link to all my co-workers! :P
Linda’s last blog post..Man Steals Few Hundred Dollars Worth of Perfume from CVS Drugstores
祝你新年快乐！
Please don’t gamble this blog away… ;-)
Zhu’s last blog post..Winterlude (Or Having Fun In The Cold)
谢谢！
LOL…………..These are great. Maybe someday for nursing baby.
That’ll be quite a sight.
hahaha!!! this pictures are a knockout! hahaha! just can’t stop laughing and imagining what if someone really dries up their baby in a dryer?! hahaha! Well maybe Britney would…too bad she’s in rehab! LOL!!!
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I supposed they’ll need to put the baby on delicate cycle for that.
UGH! Well after hearing about the Mom busted with her case of beer belted into the car and the 18 month old flying sround the back seat unrestrained ,on Nancy Grace last night….these might not be too far off the mark for some!
Mwahahaha!!!
I wish someone would have told me about that liquor thing before I had my kids. Oops. :)
Liz, You need more than a box of tissues! I can hardly write this comment- This post absolutely hilarious- I almost choked on my coffee when I read the one about putting the baby to bed. (LOL)
Have a great afternoon, and Happy Chinese New Year!
Ann
Ann Clemmons’s last blog post..What Is The Worst Or First Job You Ever Had ?
gong xi fa cai!
those pics are really funny! i wonder if ther are really people doing that to their babies! :D
kyh’s last blog post..A Ratatouille celebration
They are definitely from a book. That’s the link for it on amazon. Safe Baby Handling Tips by David & Kelly Sopp. They also have a Pregnacy Tips one that I can’t even imagine what the hell they put in there.
Andrew’s last blog post..Happy Chinese New Year!
That would have made me such a better father if I had seen it 5 years ago! Happy Chinese New Year!! Please, please don’t gamble your blog away; use mine instead.
Michael C’s last blog post..The ‘I’m Too Busy Watching Election Coverage’ Repost: Top Ten (And A Half) Things Said Before Or After My Open-Heart Surgery
LMAO! A good thing to see the first thing in the morning. Absolutely hilarious Lis.
And if you do gamble your blog away, see how much you can fetch for mine … LOL!
Nick Phillips’s last blog post..The Final Countdown
We know several people who, most times, do the “no” or “wrong” and when we try to ‘instruct’ them they blow a gasket.
While recently riding on a plane to visit relatives out of state, we were ‘lucky’ enough to sit across the aisle from a young couple (I guess early 20’s) who had two children - one I would guess was 4 (boy) and the other a girl of 2. During the first hour of our flight, the girl was fussy that the mother gave her candy and other sweets to quite her down and to increase the sugar intake she was giving her soft drinks - which led to the girl’s tantrum. I tried to ignore all this, which was most difficult, and all of a sudden the girl took a book and threw it - unfortunately, the book hit me in the side of the head, knocking off my reading glasses and, I’ll admit it, a bit peeved. I calmly picked up the book and said to the girl, in a very nice tone ‘You shouldn’t throw things at people’, wherein the mother came unglued and said ‘Don’t tell my child what to do.’ To which I replied, ‘Somebody has to tell her right from wrong.’ She asked me if I had children and I replied yes and she said well you know how it is then. I asked her what she meant by that and she said all children are fussy when they’re having the their ‘terrible twos’ to which I said, looking her straight in the eye, saying ‘No I don’t know how it is as my children weren’t raised by incompetent and idiotic parents.’ She blinked a few times and then tapped her husband on the shoulder (he was sitting in the seat directly in front of her) and said something to him, more than likely repeating what I had said to her. He turned and looked at me and I looked at him and said - “What?” He turned away and the wife went insane! Just then the girl went into uncontrollable hysterics which caused the woman to escape into the lavatory which didn’t deaden the screaming escaping from the child’s mouth. She stayed in their for the rest of the ride.
My point - they give tests so you can go to school, they give tests so that you can learn to drive, they give tests to see if you’re employable - but they don’t give tests to see if one would be a good parent. Somethings wrong.
Very funny, I don’t know there are many ways that to take care of baby the wrong way :) Loves the how to wash baby the corret way, look at how the wrong way lady pose, so funny.
BaseGuardian’s last blog post..Vol.39 : New Iron Man The Movie Trailer (in hi-res)
Why would you ever wake a baby?
Cromely’s last blog post..Iconic Branding
I have a cough and so I’m laughing my head off and trying not to die all at the same time. Now, I do pick my babies noses… and I was put in a drawer to sleep while on vacation when I was 2. And the grocery cart one.. oh my gosh! I’ll bury my kids in groceries to this day! This was too funny! Thanks so much for the laugh(s). My favorite has to be the baby sitting in the fish tank.
Rene’s last blog post..Joshua…With Style!
Many of these made me laugh out loud, but for some reason the “bonding with baby” over coffee & gossip one really tickled me.
:)
Mo’s last blog post..Valentine Stud
I really need to show the teething one to my children’s Dad - he’s a bit confused there ;)
clairec23’s last blog post..I Hate Valentine’s Day and Embarassing Memories
These are really funny…I liked the introducing to pets and feeding baby one!! Well, I really liked them all…That was a great pick me up!
Taylor Blue’s last blog post..Britney Spears?What Are You Wearing?
Do car horns count?
Leon’s last blog post..My thoughts on…Barack Obama’s appeal
I think my favorite was how to feed the baby…bottle vs. turkey (?) leg.
sudiegirl’s last blog post..I can has gratitude…?
OMFG! I really needed the laugh. You’d be surprised at some of things I’ve seen here in the Philippines that are no and don’t in those pictures.
I’ve been told umpteen times by a friend that I can’t treat my future children in the same way as I do kittens… looks like she’s right.
Damn.
Sharp Words’s last blog post..Word of the Day (10/02/08)
Friend of mine just had a baby last night and I e-mailed him this post. Great find!
LindaF’s last blog post..Junk Mail Roasting Over an Open Fire
hahaha..this is funny!!! thanks for sharing an dgong xi fa cai to you!!
shanewei’s last blog post..Gong Xi Fa Cai
just making sure you didnt gamble this blog away while inebriated! :)
meleah rebeccah’s last blog post..Valentine’s Day Cards You Don’t Want To Get
I saw this one on my email.. it is really hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jamezu’s last blog post..Steak with Gravy and Macaroni! n_n
OMG, how could i have missed this post. The first one really caught my attention, then the ones about drying your baby, breastfeeding and babyproofing your home.
No need for captions, the pictures speak for themselves VERY clearly. AhahahaaHAHAHAHA!
BYE!
usws’s last blog post..After ?Me Needs To Go Out?
haha very cool .. i know some childcare workers that could benefit from this ..